Going through stressful times

I am still here!

School has started and I am a bit overwhelmed with everything I need to get done. I will be getting into the swing of things soon and be able to post more. I am working on better organizing my time and I am also working on a exciting project that I will not divulge just yet. So very very busy but |I look forward to some more content soon including the first interview in my Message from another walk of life segment!

For now, here is a post I wrote a couple weeks ago and forgot to post!

I hope you enjoy it!

Everyone has their ups and downs in life. I sometimes feel bad when I complain or just tell people about negative things that are happening in my life. I think of how lucky I am and how compared to other people what I am going through isn’t a big deal. But something I learned is that it’s not a matter of who has it worse. If someone is living through something that to them is difficult it matters. Everyone will have different things that create a permanent mark or shift in their life. In my opinion we need to give respect to everyone of these things even if it’s as small a pet hamster dying or as big as seeing someone killed in a terrorist attack. We don’t know what one event means to a person and I don’t think we should feel guilty about being sad or stressed out. We should keep in mind the people out there who are in need of help, and keep in mind that we are blessed in so many other ways than the negative event happening but we should never feel guilty about being sad or about sharing our story. Because Talking helps, sharing your story is essential to growth and to moving past events or obstacles.

With that said I will share an event happening in my life right now and how I see it tied to the message of this blog.

Currently I have 3 family members who are fairly sick. I won’t say more than that because I want to respect their privacy and the details are also part of my private life that I don’t share on the internet.

What I do want to talk about is the effect this has on me and the people around me. Love is a powerful thing. The quote that goes along the lines of it is better to have loved and be hurt than not love at all rings true to me. But when someone you love is sick it plays not only on your emotions and mind but also on your body. I have seen a shift in some people that are also close to these people and how they try to look on the positive side but that the fear of loss settles in. This fear is tricky because you don’t want to acknowledge it until it’s absolutely necessary but it is always in the back of your mind… what if…

With this fear comes changes in mood, sleep, anxiety, stress. I took the time today to really look at the different reactions and I noticed one main thing, everyone copes differently. This may seem an obvious fact to some but it’s something that is worth looking at more closely. I may be feeling some things and need some things from others but these people might need something different. For example if there is an issue and person A let’s call them Judy feels sadness and needs to be alone in order to process some things but person B let’s call them Bob feels anger and needs to vent, it causes an issue. Bob and Judy care for each other and the person that is suffering but need different things. When Bob goes to Judy for companionship Judy pushes him away because she wants to be alone. Bob feels hurt and tries again, Judy wants to be alone and get’s angry at Bob, Bob get’s angry at Judy for being angry at him, they push each other away and both end up angry and suffering in silence.

That ending is one I want to avoid. I have to constantly remind myself that I need to get support from my friends and family but also respect what my family members need. This can be brought to many situations and is an invaluable tool in trying to understand others, prevent conflicts, and practicing kindness in a way that will be well received.

If we keep in mind what others might be going through and how that person deals with it we can prevent these disagreements and find ways where both will be able to get what they want without making one person or another feel left out or alone. It’s likely there will be still be high emotions and things will sometimes escalate but take the time to back off think about what you both need, if that is treating each other with respect an understanding but taking some time apart than that can sometimes be a good choice. Just remember to keep trying to support that person when they need it.

All in all it’s the same values I try to share on this blog,Understanding, kindness, equality etc.. a PoweredCrowd for positive change, I think that this tool while maybe obvious to some is something that needs to be brought forward every once in a while. I know I need a reminded every now and then. ; )

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